The R word
The other day at work, I heard a co-worker say "My hair is sticking up. I look like a retard."
Whenever I hear that word, I am transported back in time 20 years and more to the elementary school playground , and junior high where the other kids said it to demean me. I understand that my co-workers , when they say it, don't mean to hurt me and make me feel bad,but when they say it I have a negative, personal reaction.
Now, I understand and agree that they can't make me feel bad- only I can do that. In fact, there are times when I have trained myself to ignore the r word. Case in point: I am a South Park fan owning the first three seasons on DVD.When I have heard the word on there, after the initial flash of negativity I remind myself that obviously it is not personal and Trey Parker and Matt Stone go after everybody as equal-opportunity gadflys.
I think it depends on the relationship if I say something at work or wherever I am. If I do not know the person well I don't say anything. If it is a friend, I ask "When you say you are being retarded, what do you mean when you say that?"
"I am being stupid or foolish."
"Why don't you just say that?"
Maybe I am over-reacting which admittedly is a real possibility. I do know I have not bought the Black eyed Peas CD . I love the song when it is called "Let's get it Started." However, I have not bought it because "Let's get r_ is also on it.
Whenever I hear that word, I am transported back in time 20 years and more to the elementary school playground , and junior high where the other kids said it to demean me. I understand that my co-workers , when they say it, don't mean to hurt me and make me feel bad,but when they say it I have a negative, personal reaction.
Now, I understand and agree that they can't make me feel bad- only I can do that. In fact, there are times when I have trained myself to ignore the r word. Case in point: I am a South Park fan owning the first three seasons on DVD.When I have heard the word on there, after the initial flash of negativity I remind myself that obviously it is not personal and Trey Parker and Matt Stone go after everybody as equal-opportunity gadflys.
I think it depends on the relationship if I say something at work or wherever I am. If I do not know the person well I don't say anything. If it is a friend, I ask "When you say you are being retarded, what do you mean when you say that?"
"I am being stupid or foolish."
"Why don't you just say that?"
Maybe I am over-reacting which admittedly is a real possibility. I do know I have not bought the Black eyed Peas CD . I love the song when it is called "Let's get it Started." However, I have not bought it because "Let's get r_ is also on it.
posted by Bud @ 4:10 PM
2 Comments:
At 3:53 PM,
Swankette said…
I get the same way when people use the term "schizophrenic" as slang. Some days it rolls off me fine and others I have to get up in their face and give them the lowdown on my brother.
I only think it's through those one-on-one interactions that society will slowly start to change.
At 9:40 PM,
Greg said…
Indeed. It really stops 'em cold when asking someone, "What do you mean by that?" after they negatively refer to something as "gay".
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