Ok folks, audience participation time. I need some advice on how to deal with my oldest brother, when he comes out from California, for Thanksgiving.
My brother is a caring, loving good man. He is also a stereotypical Type A, overbearing control freak and his vists stress me. In fact there are numerous times when my parents have gone to vist him and while I could have gotten time off from work to go I chose not to. When he was out last Christmas, he started giving me a lecture and at one point said I was his responsibility. Why? I pay my own rent and phone bill. At one point he came over to my apartment, decided I needed a dresser (Which, admittedly I did and has come in handy.) He drove me to work and I left with the understanding after work, I would call and he would come over and we would build it then.
When I got home, I found his car outside and he and my dad were inside. When I asked them how they got inside my dad said he had had a key. I thought I had gotten all the spares ,but obviously my dad had one made before I got them all. ( Another time my dad came looking for me and he says he looked in my mailbox and so he does things that piss me off too but that is another posting.)
I try to remind myself he did it for me and I needed a dresser and it was a good thing, but still I was livid when I found my door unlocked , ajar and them inside but I didn't say anything and acted calm.
He has also asked me how much money I have in my checking account and one time when I told him it was none of his business,my dad backed me up and said it wasn't , my brother said "Some day it's going to be." Another time when he asked me that and I said it was none of his business, he said "Do you want me to help you or not?"
I could give some other examples ,but I think the idea is clear. Any ideas?
